Saturday, April 16, 2011

So Irritated!!!!!!!!

First, guys, I'm SoOoOoOoOo sorry I made you go more than 24 hours without me.  I know you were panicking and I'm just so sorry!!!!!!  Please say you'll forgive me????

Second, I seriously can't believe what happened today.  I went out with my bestie and I saw this nother photographer, and she was selling a session for.......... get this............ $150!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  FOR JUST THE SITTING FEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I was like WHA?!?!?!?!?!  Can you spell rippoff!?!?!?!?!?!  And her disk was............ are you sitting down............ $1500.00!!!!!!!!!!!!!  LOOK AT ALL THOSE ZEROS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   I asked her, I said "why do you rip peeps off????? It's totally bad karma, duh!!!!!!!!!" and she looked at me like I was a total nutterbutter!!!!!!!!!!  I mean okay, lets look at it like this, kay?  They get their super rich husbands to buy them a $3,000 camera just by looking hot and giving them extra snuggles and love.  One more snuggle sesh and there's you're Mack Book Pro.  It's not like they have to pay for it or anything!!!!!!!!!!!  And then they get clients without having to pay for any advertizing at all (see my last, totally bombalicious post for ways to do this)  and they go out and take less cuter than mine piccies, upload them to their compie and put them on a disk.  THATS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!  It's not like they have to pay taxes if they were only as smart as me and just did it "under the table".  (Isn't that phrase totes adorbs btw????? like I'd actually touch the nasty underside of the table EL OH EL!!!!!!)  And it's not like they have to buy expensive software, HELLO, HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF PIRITING?!?!?!?!!?!?!  Photoshop = FREE.  And seriously, who edits the heck out of their piccies anyways?????????  All of the good edits I do (check out the PORTFOLIO, PEEPS!!!!!!!) take me 15 seconds.  Why should anyone pay them like it takes 5 hours?????????  All this "skill" garbage is such a load!!!!!!!  Peep my mad skills, and I didn't study, or take classes that I paid for, I'm just a natural.  Which is why my prices are SO flipping awesome, rite???????????? 

Some people. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO rong.

Also, check it, I'm gonna start doing WEDDINGS SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  My price for all day coverage will be $150, but that's only cuz I guarantee 2,000 piccies and will be there for 8 hours.  Otherwise I TOTES wouldn't charge so much.  I am NOT a ripper offer!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love and Cutie Pumpkins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! E>  Jane

P.S.  I totes love punctuation marks almost as much as I love looking at myself in the mirror.


  1. TOTES! Before you start being ugly, please realize that this is a JOKE!!! It's a funny one too! Some people are taking this waaay too seriously. Sit back and get a good laugh!

  2. I just had an need to create actions! I'm not down with the lingo, but I'm sure you could come up with awesome names like "Alieneyes" and "TOTES color bomb". Maybe "Tunnel vision" (for a really dark, heavy vignette) and hmmm...can't come up with something creative for selective color. I am a middle school teacher, though, so I could sneak around looking at the kids' folders and maybe add to your already amazing use of everything hip. (If that's even possible.)

    I see an Actions, Textures, Presets business in your future!!!

  3. KZ ROX iz in da houze!!! U ROX GF!!!!!!!!!!!! I had to add what I just did w/my bz: spcial totes pkg/$10 mini sesshen with 50 imgs on disc, $10 more for all selectev colrs, I made $50 buckies GF!!!!!! Now I have mucho $$ 4my mani-pedi-margi I so deserv. Just try it! U will *big puffy heart* <3 it!

  4. 150 for a session fee aint shit.

    My family session fee's cover post processing, my time to shoot, my two assistants, gas, all that.

    500 usually at a minimum (which does not include pics)

    Then Packages range from a grand to ten thousand dollars for photographs depending on size and print material. This is a business. The point is to make money. 150 for a session fee is more then fair. Go take a business class.

  5. is it hard to live your life as a retard?

  6. Do people not know what sarcasm, snark, and parodies are anymore? What is this sad world coming to!?

  7. Like, seriously, this blog just made my day, and I needed a good laugh! Some people really just don't get it that to be a good photog takes a whole lot more than shooting on auto with a $3000 camera and trying to cover up color issues, poor exposure, and oof images in photoshop. :)

  8. You know what's TOTES AWESOME, Mike? That you are so damn stupid you don't know a joke when you see one.

    Also, and I mean this in the kindest way, you have some real color cast and exposure issues with your children's portraits so maybe you should use some of Jane's TOTES AWESOME ACTIONS.

  9. lmfao... This is Anonymous Kimmy -

    you are my new she-ro...

    Sarcasm is BEST.

    Those who don't 'get it' don't 'get it' in other parts of their lives either.

    Thats THEIR problemo...

    Lurve ya!


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