Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Printing

I'm in a bit of a dill lemon here today.  *frownyface*
You guys, my loving fans, are pros like me so maybe you can help me.

Okay, so I did those four shoots the other day.  Well, like 3 and a half because of that little bratface but still.  Now that I've gotten them all selective colored and oversaturated and they look like dead kids with neon tutus and giganto hair bows on......... One of the moms actually wants ME to print the pix!  Ugh, pain, I know, rite?!  So....... I'm thinking Walgreens?  There good, right?  Someone told me Costco is professional quality, but there like 19 cents per print and walgreens is like 10 cents.  And they only paid me $10 and I already spent it on seeing Eclipse again at the discount theater!!!!  (Be tee doubleyou... Team Jacob all the way)

You guysssss this biz stuff is HARD!!!!!!!  I'm TOTES gonna need a mani-pedi-margi-party after this!!!!!!

Okay you know what, I know what your gonna say: "Your a PRO now Jane.  Put on your big girl g-string (the Vicki Secrets kind, not the sleazy kind) and give them PRO quality."

So Costco it is.

Lucky for me, instead of working hard, we're loaded so I can get whatever I want and not have to worry about cost of goods sold or profit margin or any of that bo-RING junk.  I bet it's hard having to budget in stuff like that, right?  I can't even IMAJIN how hard it is.  That's probably why all those old businessmen guys all have like wrinkles and frownyfaces all the time.  Lucky for me times two, I love BOTOX!!!!!! LOVE LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!

So now that I've solved my own problem (see what I mean about me being the straight bomb?) I have a few important things I did for you guys, my loving fans.

1.  I started a FACEY!!!!!!! It's www.facebook.com/giggesandcutiepumpkins like duh, but there's also a linkeypoo now on the left under my absolutely PRESH about me.  And for you H8ers, there's a bownafied picture of me up there on the facey!  Edited with a taste of my new blingee skillz, which I know you'll all be copying like tomorrow.  But oh well, such is life when your a uberpopular professional like me.  I'll be sure to link you on the facey if I have a new blog post since I know your all doing the facey like it's a drug.  I know it's MY drug.  But so is your love!!!!!!!! Is my love your drug?  el oh el!  (Ke$ha is another idol... LOVES HER!!!!!! TOTES ADORBS with all that GLITTER!!!!!!!!!)

2.  Classes!!!!!!  Or Mentoring!!!!!!!  Since I'm totally not a rip off photographer, I'll be doing classes and mentoring for free through my blog whenever I can figure out all these buttons.  But for now, I'll answer any questions I get in the comments.  So ask away my sweeties!!!!  Maybe when I figure out all these buttons I'll make like a question box or something. 

I hafta add a little side note here... Seriously, if you're only here to try to steal my poses and locations, step off because your skills wont match mine.  EVER.  Nor will your cuteness.  EVER EVER.  Also, I won't be answering any meanie questions or comments that use too many naughty words.  Didn't your mother ever tell you not to talk like that?  I mean EEW for reals.  SoOoOoOoOoO unprofessional.

3.  A little more about ME!!!!  People keep asking "hold OLD are you!?!?!"  Which is like totes rude, but whatevs, I'm taking it as a compliant because they probaly think I'm so young because my lingo is so HIP!!!!  I'm 26.  My bee-day is 1/1/85, that's right, NEW YEARS BABY!!!!!!!!!!  If you're wondering why 1985 was such a rockin year, it's because I was born first and MADE it that way!!!!!!!!
Well technickley I was born second, but TBH the first baby of the year was wrinkly and suffered from a major case of the uggo, so we don't count him.  And now for a suprise present...................
I'm gonna make a hole about me PAGE!!!!!!!!!! so you can learn all your Jane Momtographer FACTS and be my biggest fans (as if you aren't alredy).  Aren't you just SO GREATFUL for my generocity?!?!?!?!

So there you go!!!! My gifts to you:  MORE ME!!!!!!!  Don't you just LOVE IT!!!!!!??????

24 comments:

  1. You should totally print at home! There is nothing I love more than seeing a faded print hanging on my wall 6 months after I've printed it. It makes it feel very old fashioned and like my family has been established for a very, very long time.

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  2. wow after reading this i really think you should close down shop and go study up on your photography business BEFORE you start one!!! just because you own a camera doesnt make you a pro hunny!!!

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  3. The fact that some STILL think this is real is about as hilarious as the blog.

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  4. Your photos are terrifyingly bad. I'm really hoping that this blog is a joke because you can't spell, you can't write, and you can't take pictures. Grow up, get a life, and find a real job.

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  5. People, where is your sense of humor? Laugh a little, geez!

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  6. This is the funniest photo blog yet.

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  7. Amazing how gullable peeople are.

    Thats why there are these wedding rockstars...people believe everything they hear and read. Thats why a Bush can make the White house.

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  8. your pictures are so TOTES not AwEsOmE. since i saw them i'm really sure, that this blog is a big big fake!!!

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  9. I am wondering if you can shoot my wedding this weekend? :)

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  11. I sure AM!!!!! I have the one kit lense and no backup equipment, a popup flash, and for the whole day coverage I charge $45. I know that sounds a bit on the $$$$ side, but that's only b/c I give you the disk and a MINIMUM of 2,000 PICCIES!!!!!! AwEsOmE DEAL, RIGHT????????? I know you might be nervouse since I just started the biz a few days ago, but I watched the camera-on-the-ground wedding video like FIVE times, and studied there SWEET artsy talent, so I'm TOTES ready!!!!!!!!

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  12. LMAO! TOTES CUTE!!! I hope to be great as you, I'll be definitely looking into your workshop!! xoxox hahahhaha

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  13. ....wow....are you 12? Really your Spelling, photos and the way you even present your self is HORRABLE! Get a real job and Leave the Photos to a REAL photographer.

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  14. Ahhh, thanks for the chuckle...although I must say...your portfolio does show potential ;)

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  15. I can't believe how TOTES stupid some of these people are! " Get a real job hunny" " Just because you take pictures it doesn't make you a pro"

    Just because you can type it doesn't mean you aren't gullible either. You people are TOTES the real butt of the joke!

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  16. ARE YOU ON DRUGS???? my sister is 12 and can take a better picture than you and can also talk in proper English too

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  17. This is a joke, right? I really hope so.

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  18. OMG, you are an INSPIRE-asion. Heart your energy and style. Totes don't listen to these haters. For realz, they just jelly-us. Photogs like us are no joke. So just step.

    P.S. HAVE YOU TRIED THE IPHONE HIPSTAMATIC APP?!?!?!?!!!!!????!?!?!!!!!!! Please give us your profes review and thoughts on it!

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  19. I just have to laugh, I am following your blog because this is funny. Yes, I know that this is a joke but there are so many folks out there who think that just because they own a DSLR, means that they are a photographer. I have spent years learning and studying after I got my DSLR .. I now own my own small business.

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  20. LOVE THIS! You ROCK!

    I'm so laughing too at the knuckle heads that think this is real!

    Thank you for the laughs!

    Totes to ya!

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  21. CostCo is great fer da pros!!!
    Like if you wait for one of their super print sales sales where you can get like a million 4*6 printed for 10c each.
    You can just go and print off your entire 512meg memory cards all at once!
    Thats like maybe half a years pics and all at once!

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  22. Brahhahhaa! Oh man, this site is the best... "Momtographer" LOL!!! Keep up the "good work"
    Jane!

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  23. This is Kimmie again - I can't bereive that some of these asshats think that this is fo real??? what are they 96.7 years old wearing depends, teeth out, collecting Social Security, shooing cats off their front porch? Get a life you losers... its called SARCASM you idiots!!!!! In fact.. TOTES idiots... :)

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