Thursday, April 28, 2011

I don't get it

There's this photographer in my town.  She charges like a bazillion dollars and has customers all the time.  I wanted to show her clients that they can get the same kinda piccies from me but cheaper so that way I'll have more and more clients.  So I went into her studio and pretended to be a client and checked out all her equipment and took iphone piccies of her pix she had on the wall.  She said they were canvases or something.  And I recognized the places where she went in her pictures, so I went to those places for my shoots the last few days and took pix in the exact same poses and posted them on her facebook wall by tagging her. 

Her clients are MEAN and DUMB!!!!!!!!!!!  

They said my people were blue?????  And the kids aren't smiling, and are blurry and OOF?  I have NO idea what OOF means, but my people are the color they are when I take the picture.  The camera is on Auto, which means it takes a picture of everything you see exactly how you see it with your eyeballs.  SORRY I don't photoshop my people so theyre skin is all perfect, but I don't know how and plus it would probably take FOREVER.  My people aren't blurry, its called soft focus, duh people.  It's ART.  Sorry you don't know nothing about ART!!!!!!!!  And what the heck does "your colors are nuclear" mean anyways????????  I'm pretty sure nuclear is like the new way to say rad or something, right?  So that's good that my colors are nuclear and awesome, right?????????  I LoOoOoOoOvE bright colors, they make my eyes happy.

But anyways, I'm just going to find another photographer in my area that has nice clients and that way they'll all come to me and I can get 100 customers and save up for a Cannon 5d.  I still can't believe husbeylover made me resort to "saving" like we're in a third world county or something.  Little update on that, he's been sleeping in the guesthouse since "the incadent".  How dare he treat me like anything but a perfect princess!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways, since that photographer's clients were so mean, I defended myself on her facebook and told them all what meanies they were and told them I hope they get botched eye lifts and tummy tucks.  Oh yeah, I went there, that's how mad I was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  But I think fighting publickly with people will show my clients how committed I am to my business.  So that's really good and stuff.

And for the last bit, which is HAPPY, and will turn your frownyfaces into smiling cutiefaces, I've been learning Photoshop C5 so good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I'll have more tutorials up soon!!!!!!!!!!!  I'm thinking maybe a "Tutorial Tuesday" would be good since it sounds so adorbs, rite???????? 

{Huggymuffins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!}
E> Jane

19 comments:

  1. i TOTES want to see more of your cutielovinpumpkin adorbs piccies XD

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  2. Is this a legit post? I cant tell if this is a joke or serious... If I were you I wouldn't try and 'steal' clients, I would find a few people I know to take pictures of and let word of mouth go from there.

    OOF means, Out of Focus.

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  3. I really hope this blog is performance art or a parody.

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  4. This is a joke, right?

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  5. This is just too damn funny. I have no idea what the backstory is to this blog being created...but you've kept me entertained tonight! Love it.

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  6. Bwahahahahahahah! LOVE. I have been cracking up for 30 minutes now. Keep it coming!

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  7. everyone says, this is fake. but i wonder how bored a person has to be... i mean... i would have much better to do then creating a fake-blog, right?! so that's the reason i don't think this is fake. there are people in the world, you would never believe they're real. stupidity and boldness is not as rare as you might think *G* please excuse my bad english, i'm german :)

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  8. I imagine it takes as much boredom/energy to create a fake blog as it does a real one, right? Except this one entertains whereas most others just bore and reek of self-absorbency. Do you have a personal blog, anonymous? I wonder...

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  9. i don't have a blog but i have a page on facebook whlie my homepage is under construction. you can find me on feeloona fotografie on facebook, but it's german like i said.

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  10. This is hilarious!
    " Oh yeah, I went there, that's how mad I was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I think fighting publickly with people will show my clients how committed I am to my business. So that's really good and stuff."

    No honey, you LOOSE business cause people don't want someone getting mad over criticism. lol

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  11. I just love that people think this is serious. Get a sense of humor, okay? KAY!

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  12. Omg!! I love your blog. I think this is the best photography blog I've seen in a while! We should go shoot together sometime! I'd love to get some tips from you. Can you post up a tutorial on posing and more on how you edit?!? I'm totally jealous that you have Photoshop C5; I wish I had that! Can you let me borrow??

    I love the pictures on your portfolio! They should be published in editorials!! <3333

    Good luck on your photography! I see a very promising future!!

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  13. OMG! I love this!! 'Husbeylover' is awesome!

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  14. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
    Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaa
    This is GREAT!!!!!!
    This HAS to be written by a real pro who knows what the
    Non pros are!!!!
    Love you who ever you are. Hilarious!!!!!

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  15. You are Hilarious, and yes, I can tell you are joking..

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  16. Please, please, please tell me this is not a real blog. I would laugh until next week if you attempted to mimick the photos I did. It's people like you who keep the professionals in business. Stay at home "momtographers" who take shitty pictures and then attempt to call them art because they aren't good enough to be labeled photography. I apologize if you are mentally retarded and I just "TOTES" went off on my tangent. Nevermind, just saw your "kittens video" reference on another blog now I know this is a joke. Nice.

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  17. I am sooo totally on your side. I went to a seminar on how my camera will make me rich and nobody said anything about learning all that geeky stuff. I mean, there was this guy who was all "f this" and "f that" but his hair was so cute I didn't mind.

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