Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

How to pose a newborn

Some of you aksed me if I could do a tut about posing a newborn, so here it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So like babys are adorbs on there own, we no that, but you know, sometimes they just look fat and constipated.  So we have to pose them to make them look cute and tiny and presh.  First, you always want their faces to obscured by something.  A hand, part of the blanket, an enorm bow, something.  This will show peeps that the baby is alive.  I know that sounds kinda sadsies, but with the amount of desaturation that we'll be applying to the skin, they'll need some indication that the baby is still breathing.  More about that l8r.

Another tip is to put them in immediate danger.  That is what the reel artists do because there so good they don't need to worry about common sense of anything.  There's a piccie of the baby sitting up, wrapped up like a sack of potatos and this takes a SUPER pro to do because you have to balance the baby.  Nobody can be touching the baby, and babies will like cry over anything, so make sure the balance is just rite or the baby will flop over.  They aren't weebles you know.

I saw one pic of a baby on a mantle.  BEST. PIC. EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The fauxtog said it was okay bcuz the daddy was only like 3 steps away, but serious, it's not like babies roll, or mantles brake or anything so it's alrite.  The mantle was only 5 feet off the ground, so the baby only would a have died a little bit if it fell, but remember ART FIRST!!!!!!!!!!  OR else ur not a reel artist.

Hanging babies upside down, placing them on the edge of cliffs, curbs, on top of skiddish animals (horses, elephants), balancing them on the top of flag poles, all of these things are super artistic and will make all the h8rs supes jelly.

Now for post processing (or editing if you're not a pro like me).  All you have to do is desaturate the reds and yellows for that perfect "peek into the morgue" look, and ur totes good to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  If the bubs is wearing an enorm bow or tutu or fluffy butt thingy, ALWAYS selective color these things.  ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Or if the blanket is especcialy colorful, that too.

Um, that's all I can think of for now, I'm totes tired becuz the hubbymuffinlovermonkeydoodlepie and I have been trying so hard to get preggers so I can be part of the in crowd, I'm just ezosted.  You can totes tell bcuz I'm not using as much punctuation thingies and my post isn't even in cute colors :(((((((((((  My life is supes dificult, you have no idea.  I wont even tell you about what happend to the escalade last week (the detailer DIDNT CLEAN THE MUD ON THE INSIDE OF THE DOOR FRAME!!!!!!!!!!!!! like for reals, I'm not even kidding.)

Love and cutie pumpkins,
E> JM