Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Mrs. Popularity!

Holy Moly, I didn't realize I would be so popular so fast!  I mean I totally know that the undeniable cuteness I exood is so infecting, more than H1N1 but still!  Ok, so first let me address my loving fans questions.  In super cute color, of course!!!!

1.  I'm totally real.  Im not from that place the lottery scammers come from (and I wont even type the name of the place because it's so racist, I just HATE the n-word!!!!!)  I'm as real as my idol Heidi Montag.  LOVE HER!!!!!  She's like a grown up Barbie!!!!  Oh, and this is the only sight I have, I'm not part of any others, and if I was it would be www.itotallysoamaphotographer.com not www.youarenotaphotographer.com I am not that mean.  People who hold meanness in their heart end up with really bad acne anyways, I heard that from Dr. Phil.

2.  Some of you totes want to see my pix and my sight, DON'T WORRY!!  One of my rad fans suggested wix.com and I'm so THERE!!!!  I'm desining my sight as we speak.  I've got some placeholder pix I right clicked and saved from other photographers sights.  I'm prettymuch as good as they are, so these are totes accurite.  DOOOONT WORRRRRY!!!!!!  I had my friend who is a photoshop ROCKSTAR take off theyre logo from the picture so nobody will think I'm them.  El oh el, I totally would NEVER try to confuse people like that!!  But if the real photogs get mad, or if anyone asks, my web designer did it. 

3.  My camera and my lense "line up".  Um, first, my lenses didn't commit a crime, so I would NEVER call it a "line up".  Tacky much?  There my RaD gEaR!!!!!!  I have my Rebel (though I wish they called it a Diva instead of a Rebel because it TOTES describes me better!!!!) and I have a big lense.  Its the one that came with the camera, so I know it's really pro!!!!  It says EF-S on it.  I'm going to save up and hopefully I'll get some more bigger ones soon.  I want one that makes the stuff behind the babies blurry. I don't want the lense too big though, I don't want boy arms like Madonna.  EEW!

4.  Where am I???  Hello, I'm everywhere!!!!  I'm really like H1N1 but 100x more adorbz.  And instead of making you sick, I make you beautiful pictures of cutie pumpkin kiddies!!!  I have an email address (of course, I AM legit you know) it's gigglesandcutiepumpkins at gmail dot com.  I just can't figure out how to put it on the blog b/c there are WAYYY too many buttons here.  HTLM, what the heck-o is THAT anyways?!?!  This blog needs an AUTO button as rockin as my cameras so it will do everything for me!!!!!!!  But please don't send me anything mean, we all know that people ONLY say mean stuff about ur photography when there jealous anyways.  Like that guy that called me a looser.  And I'm sure that super long comment had meanie stuff in there too, but lets be honest here, TL;DR, right????? Um, jealous much you guys?  Don't worry though, cuz if you follow me, you might learn how to be ALMOST as cute as me.  With alot of stress on the ALMOST, of course. 

and last but not leased...

5.  Taxes and all that other stuff I didn't understand.  I don't need all that stuff because I don't have a studio store and I don't charge enough that the IRS will even notice.  They only care about the photographers that charge an arm and a leg.  Besides, my hubby and I pay our regular taxes so the IRS wont care about my side biz.  This is AMERICA, not communist RUSHIA!!!  Ugh, debbie downers, all so jealous of my rad ideas that they have to try to RUIN them.  Whatevs.

LoOoOoOoOoOvE you guys!!!!!!!!!!  Your almost as cute as I look with my new damask camera strap and matching Louboutins!

-Jane

P.S. Whoever said "totes adorbs" was the most annoying phrase ever is BAND from this page.  Obvi there satan worshipers or something.

P.P.S All you guys that said about weddings gave me a totally RIDIC idea!!!!!!!  Brainstorming sesh tonight!!!!!!! 


***I TOTES put up the wrong email addy on accident!  FIXEDIT!!!!!!!!****

22 comments:

  1. Using other people's pictures as "placeholders" is stealing their art. Especially if it is copyrighted and you could get sued for removing their logo. Just so you know.....

    ReplyDelete
  2. How old are you? Just an FYI, the IRS does care about any and all side businesses unless you only get paid in cash. Also, you might want to use spell checker because I did not understand some of the things you were saying since they were misspelled. If it has a red line under it, you can just right click on it for the right spelling. It'll make you sound more professional which should bring you more customers.

    ReplyDelete
  3. OF COURSE I only get paid in Cashola!!! They're paying me like a tenner or maybe a twentie (if I'm lucky!!) and my hubbers says not to take checks or else well get odited or something I dunno what he was saying, I just did it anyways.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ignore the haters Jane! You RAWK!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. All the colors are so OMGWTFBBQ cool. My Nikon Canon HAssleblad Mamiya Leica even can't handle it! You much better pro than me. I go invite you on safari next time and we go have good time.

    .
    .
    .
    LOL... OK, I can't do this anymore even if I were anonymous. This is hilarious, keep up the good work :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. are people serious with these comments!? Jane, you must be rolling over there! :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. i can't find you on wix.com!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I can't believe that peepz totes think this is fake. I mean this blog is totes adorbs and I am peein' my pantz waitin' to see picz.
    XOXO
    ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  9. what the heck is a peepz totes? I have to know, cuz I foto lotz of high skool seniors for FREE cuz most fotographers cost too much.

    I think i do a great job too - cuz i love that selective coloring and i just use a vintage action that i downloaded to cover up all the bad shadows and lighting that i cant figure out how to fix.

    Maybe Jane can help me with this? What do you say Jane? Classes please? Everyone who has lots of experience gives classes these days because they knowz that they can make money off of photogs- but dont worry, they wont teach you anything...hummmaybe YOU can be the change!

    ReplyDelete
  10. RUSHIA?! Seriously?! How stupid are you?

    ReplyDelete
  11. THANKS FOR POSTING THE PICS! UR SO TALENTED DON'T LISTEN TO YOUR HATERS LISTEN TO YOUR HEART.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Don't worry about getting big, fancy lenses. That yummy blur behind babies? Gaussian blur, baby! It looks totally realz and you don't have to move any dials that way. While you're at it...you gotta check out something called a vignette. It rocks out any photo and you can even use pink...your fav!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Excuse me but why would I want to pay a professional photographer to take my pictures when I can go to JCPenney with my coupon? Then I can scan the pics and print more at Walmart!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Your pictures are great! Don't worry about getting "one that makes the stuff behind the babies blurry", I think you got one already! (well, the baby is blurry too, but that's just art and even more awesome).

    ReplyDelete
  15. How old ARE you? I'm just wondering because I don't want professional pictures done by a teen aged girl.

    ReplyDelete
  16. LMAO Right that's it I am totally becoming a photographer! Simple! Anne Geddes watch out!

    Katie (it wouldn't let me sign in)

    ReplyDelete
  17. I think you are Totes AwEsOme, and I really can't believe how many stupid people there are in this world, SCARY!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Amazing how gullable peeople are.

    Thats why there are these wedding rockstars...people believe everything they hear and read. Thats why a Bush can make the White house.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Read the dictionary and use proper English if you want to be taken seriously. You are TOTES going to ruin someone's view of a true professional photographer.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I did have a small seizure from all the grammatical errors and "text-type" but am willing to get medication so I can keep reading these ridiculous posts. Good job for making something so absolutely terrible that everyone will love it! Go Rebecca Black!

    ReplyDelete
  21. totally beyond bitch'n hot. i mean like your totally PHAT... totally in love with your work!

    ReplyDelete
  22. I honestly can't believe people think this is real...

    ReplyDelete

Leave me a comment about how AwEsOmE I am!!