Haters

So like I, being Red's exbffl, remember her email password (it's nkotbrox beeteedubs) and so know what I did? I got her hole email list and sent them my website and a coupy for 50% off a sesh with me.

AM I BRILLS TO THE MAX OR WHAT?!?!

So I'm gonna get all my clients back!

And I finally finished editing the 25 seshes I had using free actions I found online. Totes works grate!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have 22 seshes today and I had 14 yesterday and I'm doing a wedding tomorrow, so these actions will fershur come in handy dandy while I'm editing this week. And I told half of the complainers to shut up so I didn't haft redo their seshes either. Its been a good week!!!!!!!

I'm siked so much about my first wedding tomorrow!!!!!!!!! Can anyone say OPEN BAR?????? I normally don't drink but if its free I'm gonna get tanked!!!!!!! Let my artistry flow, kwim?

Wish me luckypoo!!!!!!!!!

E> j

P.s. Some1 thinks everyone who is anonymous is rely me commenting on my own blog. So totes hilarius rite? So you should all make a name to sign it with so they stop thinking that.

I don't like this anymore

So like, Now that I've been doing tons and tons of shoots, it's taken me forever to edit them and I like never get any time to relax!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Someone told me to get actions for photoshop so I looked up a few of those for free ones and I got them so it made editing easier, but now people are complaining because some of them look funny.  I have to go back and edit some more and order more and like I thought I was going to be making tons of money, but now I've had to reorder so many times I've actually LOST a couple hundred dollars!!!!!!!!!!!  THIS IS TOTES NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I have been editing non stop for days and I'm not even getting a new Coach clutch for all this hard work??????????  I mean I didn't even get to wright Tutorial Tuesday for you guys this week AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm flailing as your teecher and for that I'm totes sorry :(((((((

I think I'm going to raise my price to $25 for the shoot that comes with a hole disk, what do you think????????????

Too busy

Can't type now.  I had 25 shoots last weekend and now I am editing them and their all calling me asking for there pix and I can't edit this fast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  People are getting sOoOoOoO madsies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  What am I spozed to do???????????????

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whiners

So like I've been a pro for like over a month now.  And I read photography forums and I know that people complain alot, but I'm just SoOoOoOoOoOoOo sick of complainers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Here's a passive aggressive, hypocritical whine about people who whine and are passive aggressive:

1.  Soft pictures are so totes IN right now. Stop saying their not in focus, I make them soft of purpise because I'm an artist, DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2.  I like bright colors.  Get over it.  You don't, so what.  I'm the pro, you don't know what's good, I do.
3.  YOUR fug skin has the zitties and your butt is fattymcfatterson, so dont get mad at me when you can see it on your piccie.  If you don't like it, get prettier, don't ask me to photoshop so much.  It takes too long and I don't wanna do it.
4.  Your kids are brats.  They don't sit still.  But even if they did, I don't know how to set my SS fast enough to account for camera shake........................... see complaint #1.
5.  I overdo whatever fad was cool 5 years ago, no more, no less.  If u dont like it, photoshop it yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6.  I own all of my locations.  If your another photographer, just trying to steel my locations, I will stand in all of your piccies until you leave and tell your clients you called them fat behind there back.
7.  I charge what I do because I'm not a ripper offer, and I need to give people some kind of incentive to come to me not you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
8.  I LOVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  If you don't, you are dumb.

So like yeah.   

H8ers PAY ATTENSHIN because these are for U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But u know what they say, h8ers make me famous and we all know I'm gonna be the Louboutin of photography soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

E> Jane

Tutorial Tuesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi my cutie pumpkin lovey huggy muffins!!!!!!!!!

Today, my tutorial is going to be on how to make colors POP!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so here's my pic

it's really gray and blah, rite???????????

So hears what we do. This is only for people who really know how to use Photoshop C5 because it's really really hard and you hafto know where like EVERYTHING is on it.

First, make a copy of the piccie layer thingy. Go up to layer and click on duplicate layer.

Then, if you look in the bottom rite corner where it says backgorund and now it says there's another layer there. There's a little menu doohickey and it says "normal" on it. Click on that and click on overlay.

Then go up above and click on layer and go down to new adjustment layer and click on hue/saturation. Drag the slideydoo as far over to the rite as it takes before your pic looks hawt.

Here's what my after looks like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two awesome.  If anyone wants to use this picture in a magazine or a museym, please email me at gigglesandcutiepumpkins {at} gmail {dot} com.  I will sell you the copyrite for $1.50 because I'm not a ripper offer, member??????????????????

Also, for next week's tutorial Tuesday I'm going to need piccies of people's faces.  So please email me all the piccies of people you have at the same email address I just posted above.  Thannnnnnnks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

E>  JaneyJane

I ALMOST DIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So like Blogger was down for like TWO DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!  I had so much photography knowledge to share with you, and so many things to teach you and I couldn't because the website was like BROKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I almost died for you!!!!!!!!!!!!  I know you were trying to refresh the page over and over, CRYING because it wouldn't work.  I know you were so desperate for my cuteness, my inspiration, my fountain of knowledge pertaining to the gorge art of photography!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so sorry I made you sadsies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please forgive me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In hopes that you'll forgive me, here's a cute picture of a sad kitten.

 Furrgive me pweez???????

E>  Jane 

Tutorial Tuesday... on Wensday!!!!!!!

Sorry so much you guys, I had boat lag yesterday and was unpacking and starting at myself in the mirror so I forgot to write a tutorial for you guys!!!!!!!!!!  But here it is!!!!!!!!!!!

Today's tutorial is on......... Black and White!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, this one is easy peasy, so anyone can do it.  All you have to do is..........
1.  Open your piccie
2.  Click on Image
3.  Go down to adjustment
4.  Click on Black and White

WAHLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

You'll probably get some whiny, greedy "pro" telling you that's NOT how to do it.  They always tell me "Your black and white confusions lack dep and contrast.  Your skin is muddy.  There is skill involved in creating a meaningful black and white confusion."

WELL MAYBE WE DON'T WANT DEP OR SKILL (unless you're talking about Johnny Dep, we'll take two of those plz!)  MAYBE WE JUST WANT A PLAIN OLD BLACK AND WHITE PICTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Geez.  Some people think we need to use "skill" and "knowlege" to do everything in photography.  As if being  a real pro takes any of that!!!!!!!!  Whatevs.  Obvi they know nothing, rite?

I would have given you guys an example piccie to go along with this tutorial, but none of you are sending me pix!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Send me some!!!!!!!!!  I can't use piccies of my own kiddos because then you'll figure out who I am my camera will brake from their SUPER CUTIENESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So send me pix at gigglesandcutiepumpkins {at} gmail {dot} com.  Any pix!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Well, no uggos, please.

THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANKS!!!!!!!!!!!

E>  Jane

ZOMGOODNESS!!!!!!

So the reason I was gone for so longsies was because...........
also for mothers day my hubkinchukymonkeylover

TOOK ME ON A SUPRIZE CRUZE!!!!!!!!!!!!  

TO ME-HEE-CO!!!!!!!!!!!!

And of course I took lots of picciepoos!!!!!!!!

Here's us on the beech

Here's me hiking mount everest

Us enjoying our family time

 

Look how tan we got!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's like so much hotter than the fake-n-bakes I get!!!!!!!!

All these piccies are OBVI taken by me, look how awesome they are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't be jealous though, I'm sure your mothers day was almost as good rite???????????????????

Awesomeness and useless things on my camera

Awesomeness things that happened today...........
1.  My hurr got did and I got my highlights touched up so I'm looking fandangtabbulous!!!!!!  Youll note that Im using extra punctuations because of how AbFab I'm looking!!!!!!!!!!!!

2.  Hubeykinsloveymuffinoodlebug suprized me with my Mothers Day PRESENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  That 5D that you guys said is the best camera out there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  There isn't Mark's sticker on it so it must have been made by a different guy, but it's still a Cannon and it's big!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It doesn't have a flash that comes on the top which stinks, I don't know why they'd take it off on the better camera, but whatevs.  Hubbers can stop sleeping in the guest house now witch is good because I was getting lonely.

That leads me on to a little bit of a rant four you..........
Why are there so many useless things on my camera?????????????

1.  The squares in the little thingy I look into.  There always getting in the way when I want to take a piccie.  Cant I like erase them or something???????

2.  I just found out when I press the picture taker button not all the way down it BEEPS??????????  WTHECK??????????  Normally I just press it all the way over and over so I get about 2,000 piccies per session, but I hesitated once and only pushed it halfway and it beeped!!!!!!!!!!!!  I think maybe its broken??????  I mean they killed Obama so I know it's not a terrorist bomb.

3.  The wheel thingy on top has sOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo many letters on it that just make your pix look terrible.  Why would you want to use anything but Automatic mode??????????  People are weerd.

Anyways, off to give my huggylovkins some snugglywugglies!!!!!!!!!

E>  Jane

My logo

Are you ready for this??????????????

Disined by me, incorporating all the things that are Giggles and Cutie Pumpkins........
I present to you..........

MY NEW LOGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dont you just LoVe it????????????????????

Copycatter Red

So I totes LoVe the name one of you guys gave Red, my bffl turned enemy whose copying my business: Big Red. I'm gonna call her that because seriesly she has cankles and needs to take a spinning class STAT.

Anyways, so I posted the tut yesterday about vinyets and guess who already has 10 new piccies on her facebook ALL with vinyets just like the one I have on my art piece from yesterday????????? Her names rimes with stupid HEAD.

AND....... get this......... she went to that field with the flowers that I always use and took her clients there. I mean HELLO???????????? QUIT COPYING ME!!!!!!! She stocks my facebook all. the. time. Her hubby is bffls with mine and she told him and he told my hubbymuffin and my hubbymuffin told me that she actually eats ice cream after the kids go to bed (AND NOT THE FAT FREE KIND!!!!!!!!) and goes through all of my facey pix and writes down the locations so she can go there. She just copies everything I do!!!!!!!!!!!! When we got our White Escalade, she got a cream colored one. When I found out I was preggos with Breklyn in 2007, she got pregnant the next month. Except she had a girl first, but that was only because I wanted Breklyn to be a girl, but he was a boy instead. I used to think it was cute that she was my bffl and we had the samesies stuff, but not anymore.

Also, I lost all of my baby weight after I had Chyloh, and guess who didnt? Yeah, BIG Red. She still has a poochy belly which gives her TOTES uggo muffin top, but nobody has the heart to tell her. I HOPE YOU READ THIS, RED!!!!!!!!

Anyways, I hate copiers. They stink and I rock.

E> Jane

Tutorial Tuesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HIYA everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!  I'm so sorry I've been MIAzies for the past few days.  Breklyn and Chyloh have been naughty naughty little babies.  They took my Bare Esscentuals and made a big mess, and drew on the white leather in our Escalade, and ALSO they refused to wear the matchy matchy outfits I bought for them at some ridiculously overpriced childrens boutique!!!!!!!!!!!!  Terrible terrible little doodie faces they are.

So it took me till now to rite my Tutorial about.........................

VINYETS!!!!!!!!!

Vinyets are THE bestest most ATRSYTASTIC things you can ad to your photo.  It says "I am an artist that likes my photos to fade out into a deep, black abyss of nothingness" And hear's how you do it!!!!!!!!!

Now, this one, is hard.  This is only for real real professionals because it has a bunch of steps with really scary menus that have a lot of buttons.  Okay, so lets go!!!!!!!!!!!

1.  Open your picture in Photoshop C5

2.  Go here and download the free action.
3.  Run the action and make the vinyet as dark as you can!!!!!!!!!!!

SEEEEEEEE???????!!!!!!!!!!

SoOoOoOoOo professional looking!!!!!!!!!!

Here's how it looks on my art piece entitled "Be careful of the floor's undryness"

BEFORE- so unpro, no vinyet.

AFTER:  Gorgeous professional piece of art!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOUR WELCOME my lovlies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

E> Jane